What to Say When…

Finding the Words When Emotions Run High

A free, practical guide to responding with empathy, setting boundaries and strengthening connection with children and young people.

Sometimes, finding the right words in a difficult moment can feel impossible.

When a child says “I don’t care”, refuses to engage, expresses frustration or pushes back against boundaries, it’s not always easy to know how to respond.

In these moments, what we say, and how we say it, can make a real difference.

What to Say When… has been created by Make The Most to help parents, carers and professionals navigate challenging conversations with greater confidence, compassion and understanding.

Grounded in a relationship-centred approach, this accessible resource offers practical examples of supportive language, helping adults look beyond the words being spoken and consider the feelings and needs underneath.

Rather than focusing on finding the perfect response, the guide encourages curiosity, calm boundaries and meaningful connection.

What’s Inside?

A calming framework: Five practical steps to guide your response: Pause, Connect, Contain, Reflect and Repair Together.
Real-life conversation examples: Explore ways to respond when children express frustration, withdraw, reject support or communicate difficult feelings.
Supportive language: Alternative phrases that acknowledge emotions without dismissing experiences or escalating conflict.
Calm and consistent boundaries: Guidance on maintaining expectations while helping children feel safe, heard and respected.
Repairing relationships: Gentle reminders that difficult moments don’t have to define relationships, and reconnection matters.

Who Is It For?

What to Say When… is designed for adults supporting children and young people, including:

Parents and carers
Foster carers and family support workers
Teachers and education staff
Support workers and professionals working with children and young people

Why Download What to Say When…?

Because difficult conversations don’t always need perfect words. They need adults who are willing to pause, listen and respond with understanding.

This resource offers practical starting points for those moments when emotions are heightened and communication becomes difficult.

It encourages adults to remain curious rather than defensive, validate feelings while maintaining appropriate boundaries, and recognise opportunities to rebuild trust after challenging experiences.

Sometimes, a small change in what we say can make a meaningful difference in how someone feels heard, understood and supported.

Free Digital Download

Download your complimentary copy of What to Say When… and discover practical ways to approach difficult conversations with more confidence, compassion and connection.

Parent & Caregiver

What to Say When…